A Place to Rest

In Fiction on December 4, 2013 at 2:39 pm

Tresspassing

A Place to Rest

The whitewashed walls of the old mission emerged from the mist, slow and shy like a wary ghost. It was boarded and broken, abandoned by man and god alike.

“Suits me,” Dan grumbled. Three days in the hot sun had just about baked his brains, and death had seemed near enough, until the fog rolled in and pocked his skin with dots of dew. Half a day of blind shambling later, the desert brought him here.

Unless he’d died. Unless this was heaven, and the rolling mist the veil.

A bell rang softly inside, and a light came on.


This 99-worder is my response to this week’s Friday Fictioneers photo prompt (up above, by Randy Mazie). It’s a loose continuation of an earlier story, The Albino Black Cowboy.

Let me know what you think in the comments below, then click the blue guy here to read more great stories from the other writers this week!

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  1. Gives me a Hotel California vibe. 🙂 Really nicely written.

    janet

  2. Hadn’t thought of it until I read Janet’s comment, but yes… I do hope that he finds pink champagne on ice and mirrors on the ceilings…. but then, he can check out any time he likes, but he can never leave.

    I like the ambiguity of the ending, though… it’s for certain that it’s a happy ending….

  3. Fantastic. The oasis in the desert. I liked the bell ringing softly.

  4. Dear Brian,

    Yep, I smell the colitas and see the flickering light…;) Hotel California. Good one, full of atmosphere.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  5. Ah paradise at last after so much suffering-loved this:-)

  6. Indeed– you can never leave… also bring old Hitchcock movies to me..

  7. I love the mystery and atmosphere you created. Nicely written.

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