The Feeling of Falling Down

In Fiction on February 4, 2013 at 9:08 pm

Yellow wood, by yooperann on Flickr

The Feeling of Falling Down

“Sometimes I feel bad, man. I mean, this was a sleepy town before I showed up.”

Quinn popped a shell into the chamber and ran the action forward with a click.

“White churches, brick sidewalks—the foliage is beautiful, man. I mean, just look at it.”

“You don’t have to do this.”

Quinn gestured to the body under the tree—what had been a man—and shrugged.

“I already done it,” he said. “So it’s nothing to me. But you may be right.”

“You can stop.”

Quinn nodded as if he believed.

“I hear that a lot,” he said. “People wonder how I got started down this path, when I turned bad, as if another path had been open to me.”

The woods seemed loud—with anticipation, Quinn thought—with birds and wind and the rushing of water. Or maybe that was his own blood, charging in his ears.

“I tell ‘em, ‘Frost got it wrong, man.’ We’re not walkers in the woods; we’re water on the hillside, following the trench dug out by our fathers and mothers who went that way before. We’re all just tumbling downhill.”

“That’s no excuse.”

Quinn leveled the shotgun and the man froze.

“Didn’t say it was,” Quinn said. “I just like the feeling of falling down.”

Photo by Yooperann

This is my response to this week’s Trifecta Writing Challenge: Path. Being from New England, I couldn’t miss the opportunity to draw on Robert Frost. Being a terrible person, I couldn’t miss the opportunity to turn his nice thought into something creepy.

Leave your comments and criticism below, and, of course, head over to Trifecta to see what other stories came out of this week’s prompt!

Related (but not creepy): Words For Things // Al In Wonderland // Idle Hands

  1. I love how they debate free will vs. fate. Great use of dialogue.

  2. Some excellent dialogue here.

  3. You painted a very interesting story here. I love the discussion on determinism. Good stuff.

  4. yes i agree with those comments..intriguing story, excellent dialogue and a very good read.

  5. This guy has some problems….Great dialogue,

  6. Good dialog throughout, but GREAT last line!

  7. Heh heh! You got into your character there! And you picked just the right spot of dialogue between the two. Must have been very interesting to write – great to read!

  8. I like I’m in love with Quinn, dusty poet that he is.

  9. Fantastic. I was absorbed.

  10. Wow. This post left me virtually speechless. You built an incredibly rich scene with so little actual description. Quinn is one creepy character.

  11. You definitely have an ear for natural sounding dialogue and an eye for detail. I really enjoy the way you write. Keep it up!

  12. I felt like I was in the woods hearing all the sounds and watching these two converse. Such a vivid piece!

  13. This is really good writing! I love your descriptions.

  14. This is stunning. Your dialogue is crisp and clean. That ending. Ouch.

  15. Great dialogue…and yes, it was a very creepy story. Quinn scares me 🙂

  16. Right from the first sentence, Quinn had me by the throat!

  17. Loved the bit about Frost being wrong-great interpretation & a nice chilling story:-)

  18. Nicely done! I’m sure Frost is spinning in his grave. 😉 Love the contemplative pace of the conversation during what is otherwise a tense, stomach-churning, terror-inducing scene.

  19. […] for something a little more solid? Try these: The Feeling of Falling Down // Words for Things // Al in […]

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