Madelaine

In Fiction on May 8, 2013 at 10:17 pm

lips

Madelaine

“I see that look on your face: You don’t believe me, and I don’t blame you. But I do love you, Sean Brennan—after a fashion.

Shh. Don’t interrupt, sweetie. Let me explain:

When I came to see you four days ago (or three and a half if it please you) I told you I was desperate, and that was true. I’d come to unlock my place that morning—let in the day shift and count the take from the night before—when I’d found a note slid underneath the door.

Philippe Bonté, the cochon that owned the place before me, was threatening to run me out. He’d changed his mind about the sale, and told me he was coming back to take the place by force—with a few of his guys for good measure, naturally.

You ok, honey? You want another drink? Suit yourself…

Well, what I didn’t tell you was that it wasn’t enough for me to give up the Moelleux and leave. Bonté wanted me dead, and it was on account of what I’d found hidden in the basement—something Bonté himself had only just learned was there at all: an artifact from way back.

Lean in sweetie and let me whisper this in your ear (I wouldn’t want anyone to overhear us, now):

That artifact was this little chain and vial you see around my neck, where I’ve got this tiniest piece of your heart to keep me safe.

It’s a bit of history, mon petit. A little something your ancestors picked up from the locals when they kill’t ‘em. I recognized right away what it was, and it was the most powerful piece of voodoo I’d ever come across.

It would keep me from harm, but I needed a… sacrifice, we’ll say… to claim its power for my own: The heart of the man I loved.

So you see, honey, it was a good thing I walked into your office when I did—‘cause for me it was love at first sight… or close enough.

Mmm… To tell you the truth, I wasn’t sure if lust would do the trick, but so far it’s working just fine.”


This continuation of my Undead Detective series is a response to this week’s Two for Tuesday prompt, care of Andy Black. I did something pretty different with this one, obviously, but I wanted to try Andy’s slightly harder prompt—telling a story from the perspective of a character who is the opposite gender.

Considering the main character of this series is a man, I had to get a little creative to make it work. Maybe you’ll say it doesn’t work, but hopefully you tell me that in the comments below!

Anyway, enjoy! And if you feel like catching up, check out the entire series here:

Dead Man Walking // X Marks the Spot // Postmortem // Basic Physiology // Les Moelleux // Her Body Begs for Death // The Talisman // Madelaine

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  1. I think it works. At least you’re giving more insight into her motives.

  2. I agree with Cara, this definitely works and it’s good to know more about why Madelaine did what she did.

  3. It definitely works. It drew me in and kept me interested.

  4. You are really good at last lines. The one is this post is a great example. I love the way the story is going.

  5. Writing from the woman’s perspective gives your story a whole different rhythm and provides new insite into the why and how of it all. Another great job, I loved it.

  6. […] // Postmortem // Basic Physiology // Les Moelleux // Her Body Begs for Death // The Talisman // Madelaine // Dead […]

  7. […] // Postmortem // Basic Physiology // Les Moelleux // Her Body Begs for Death // The Talisman // Madelaine // Dead Drunk // The Crucible of […]

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