Five Sentence Fiction: 48 Sombreros

In Fiction on May 16, 2012 at 8:18 am

48 Sombreros

“Why didn’t we just take a taxi?”

“You wanted an authentic Mexican experience, remember?”

“I meant tequila… sombreros… siestas… girls in bikinis…girls without bikinis — not getting stuck in a P.O.S. Fiero in the middle of the goddam desert.”

Craig opened his door and stepped out to inspect the ditch where they’d come to rest, certain that, wherever they were, it was miles from the nearest beach, miles from the salt-rimmed sea, and miles from the sun-kissed torsos he’d been promised by the brochure.

When he saw the boots — dozens of pairs straining to contain swelling feet, toes pointed to the turquoise sky — he stopped cold.


Five Sentence FictionThis is my first try at Lillie McFerrin’s Five Sentence Fiction prompt. This week’s prompt: SOMBRERO. Check out the other responses on her blog!

Constructive criticism, destructive praise, and general commentary welcome below.

  1. Chilling! Not a word consistent with sombrero, but it was chilling!

  2. Oh my God! And WOW! This one really knocked me for a loop. How timely, too. Good job.

  3. Uh-oh… I smell trouble…
    Took me by surprise… love the cliffhanger ending! 🙂

    (This is also my first Five Sentence Fiction entry)

  4. Really fine, succinct and chilling story telling!

  5. That was a finely crafted piece of FSF! It started out fun and light and got very serious very quickly. Nice turn at the end. I really enjoyed it!

  6. Uh oh. Not what you want to encounter! I need to read more please. . . . I feel these two are in serious danger now. . Loved it!

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