Five Sentence Fiction: Quick Work

In Writing on June 5, 2012 at 9:40 am

Part I: In search of spoils
Part II: The Calm After the Storm

He pushed on, down the slope of a wet ridge, feet sliding. The sun, overripe and bursting orange, was crushed against the horizon, breaking through the clouds and smoke to the west.

The town was fewer than five miles distant, easy enough to walk by nightfall, but Caleb couldn’t be sure Grammar and his men would stop for rest, or how many men Grammar had left, even. If the company was at full strength, there would be little he could do, but a dozen men — sleeping perhaps — would be quick work for his dagger.

Quick work except for one, Caleb thought, and he quickened his pace.


Five Sentence FictionThis is my response to Lillie McFerrin’s Five Sentence Fiction prompt. This week’s prompt: ORANGE. It’s part of a continuing series, so go ahead and read the earlier entries if you missed them. Most of all, be sure to check out all the other responses on Lillie’s blog!

As always, constructive criticism, destructive praise, and general commentary welcome below!

  1. Thrilling! I think I will stay awake…

  2. Love the first sentence line…”the sun. crushed against the horizon”…beautifully descriptive. Good luck with that dagger, Caleb. Here’s my first attempt with Lillie’s

  3. Oh, I like this one. I feel a layer of dust on my from just reading it. Great atmosphere and the ending was really sharp. 😉 Pardon the pun.

  4. The use of the word ‘crushed’ in the context of the ‘bursting’ orange sun is very clever and evocative. Caleb sounds like a dangerous man to have around, but perhaps not ‘the’ most dangerous man around from the sound of it. Nice work.

  5. I like the imagery of an ‘overripe’ sun! Excellent 🙂

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