The Blue Door

In Fiction on October 12, 2012 at 12:02 am

It’s Friday (though only by a minute here on the East Coast) and I’m jumping into the Friday Fictioneers game right on time this week.

I hope you like what I’ve done with the prompt, but either way, after you give it read you should head on over to Madison Woodssite for even more great weekend word-smithing!

The Blue Door

“Yeşil Hat. Mavi kapı.”

Giannis Markou read the note for the hundredth time, and for the hundredth time he felt his pulse quicken. “Green Line. Blue door.”

There were thousands of blue doors in Lefkosia, but only one that mattered, so Giannis had stolen across the Green Line, and now – for the first time since the war – he stood on the land that the Turks had stolen.

The sun was glaring and everything was white. The stucco buildings, the sand and stone, seemed carved from sun-bleached bone. But beyond the blue door, red blood had been spilled. Beyond the blue door lay his greatest shame.

Giannis set his palm there, as if the door held a hatred he could somehow feel, and pounded. When it opened he found a man, middle-aged with graying temples, full cheeks, and eyes as blue as the door.

Giannis felt his eyes flood with tears as the realization came.

“You were the child,” he said, overcome. “You were their boy.”




Thanks to Jan Morrill for the cool photo prompt. As always, I’d love to hear your comments and criticism! Also, in case you haven’t noticed, I’ve revamped the look of my site, so I’d love to hear what you think about that, too. Happy weekend, everyone!

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  1. I thought it was heartwarming, liked it.

  2. I think the line about hatred being behind the door is quite eloquent. I also like how you focused on one of the less prominent details in the picture by including the blue door.

  3. “The stucco buildings, the sand and stone, seemed carved from sun-bleached bone.” Great Image! Nice job!

    Tom

  4. Some great scene setting here, and nicely paced too. Good one.

    • i’ve only lived near Boston two years and haven’t made it to NYC yet. BUT, if you’re coming in late oceobtr, you’ll have the most breathtaking view of the leaves changing.i’ve never seen anything like it.Georgia can’t compare!

    • Zusammen mit den Stadtteilen handelt es gegisneiteg teilweise um ehemals selbststc3a4ndige Gemeinden, eine gute im Laufe diverser Gebietsreformen nach Deutsche Mozartstadt (umgangssprachlich) eingegliedert wurden, teilweise jedoch ebenfalls um brandneue Stadtteile, die als Wohngebiete gegrc3bcndet wurden.

  5. Well done! I like your use of the blue door and interweaving it into your story, beyond it being just a physical blue door. Really nice!

  6. This touched my heart. I hope he finds peace and forgiveness. Excellent!

  7. “But beyond the blue door, red blood had been spilled. Beyond the blue door lay his greatest shame.” Powerful depiction of the emotions that accompany the horrors of war and last a lifetime.

  8. I love how you give us a whole story here, Brian, and there’s some glorious description in lines like “seemed carved from sun-bleached bone”. Gorgeous.
    This is one of those occasions when I actually think the piece might have benefited from being cut to 100 words. The middle felt just a tiny bit long-winded, taking us out of the intrigue of the openining and the drama of the (really enjoyable) ending. But then, you know I’m always a fan of the 100 word limit, so I might just be wrong.
    I’m over at: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/10/12/friday-fiction-cooling-off/

    • I agree – I kept working to cut it down more and more, but I just couldn’t find a way to keep the pacing where I wanted it while still giving the background of the war. Thanks, as always, for your great comments!

  9. This is very well written. I too have a little Turkish Delight(not so much) at my place. Could be the child’s parent? haha!

    • Thanks! Haha, I went to school with a guy from Turkey and a Cypriot Greek, and they got along surprisingly well together — which is how I thought to base this story where I did at all. Hopefully your Turkish Delight doesn’t have graying temples yet

  10. Hey Brian, Love the new blog-layout! 🙂 This story has a lot of substance. And there is a lot of emotion here, a sense of nostalgia, and a pass. I sort of feel it, the flood of feelings that come at him, and then that click. You did good 🙂

    • Thanks Raina – and thanks also for the comments on the new look! I like it a lot better than my old one, I reckon. Glad you liked my story (even if it was a little long)!

  11. Hi Brian,
    This is a really good one. Loved the way you used colors, blue, green, red to intensify the story. I thought the strongest writing device was that you were never obvious. You made the reader think to come to the conclusion about what had happened. Excellent writng, wish I could stick a gold star on your forehead. Ron

    • Thanks Ron, that’s a tough line to walk — between being subtle and being flat out confusing. Glad you thought I managed it! Maybe I’ll just by some stickers for my laptop, that’s always a good idea right?

  12. Brian: Wow…this hit me in the pit of my stomach and resonates with me. I see an old Armenian behind that door. True backstory. I knew a 2nd generation Armenian and learned the history of how the Turks massacred the Armenians and forced them to the sea…to be saved by German ships. His parents (before meeting) were on those ships. I imagine my friend returning and that could be his relative behind that door.

    • Thanks Lora, in this case it was the Turkish / Greek conflict on Cyprus, but I think the ideas are pretty much applicable to any war. Thanks for reading and sharing!

  13. i don’t know exactly what happened, but i know there was a good amount of drama. well done.

  14. Such a powerful story. Great job.

  15. The drama to return, I could feel the tension building. Weel written.

  16. That Green Line is so complicated, and I really like how you captured the years of regret after those crazy days and nights. It’s so surreal to be a foreigner there-to blithely walk across a line that bisects even buildings-when for so many years the two populations of Cyprus could not.

    That was a really profound story. Thanks for sharing.

    • Thanks for the great comment – I’m glad you recognized it and enjoyed it, seeing as you obviously had some knowledge of the conflict to start with. I’m also just glad you read it!

  17. Very poignant, and the last line is a killer.

  18. This story packed a powerful wallop with history and emotion and beautiful descriptions. Love the Green Line reference. Subtle and yet as in your face as a firing squad. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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