A Prison of the Mind

In Fiction on April 29, 2013 at 4:21 pm

prison

A Prison of the Mind

I’d last seen my brother when he was 11 and I was 15. I did not recognize this man—soft, bloated and white—that stared upon the world with these watery eyes. He was like a corpse, newly surfaced in some icy pond.

“Brother…” I said. “Paul.”

“He will not speak,” Meher said. “Our world is as distant to him as God’s light is to the heathen.”

I set down my equipment and tried not to sound perturbed.

“There’s nothing godly about this,” I said. “His mind has closed itself—a response to severe psychological trauma… It has been this way since we were boys.”

I handed Meher the cable to the machine and motioned for him to plug it in. I set to work placing the contacts on my brother’s scalp.

I’d long maintained that what my brother had been through had been traumatic for both of us: His unexplained disappearance and mysterious return 18 months later—as a broken boy.

The police had suspected the worst, and even blamed our father for a time, but there had been no signs of physical abuse. There was only Paul’s silence and his sad, vacant gaze, as if he’d stumbled upon some horrible secret, some ruinous truth the universe had managed to hide from the rest of us. He would not drink and he would not eat, and the simplest tasks fell to our parents to perform. It tore our family apart.

Looking upon him now I realized I had suffered merely a fraction of his pain. For nearly forty years he had been a prisoner of his own mind.

I gently rolled his sleeve and gave him an injection.

“Do you think you can cure him?” Meher asked.

“Perhaps not. But if I can open a door to his mind, even for a short time, I may be able to discover who did this to him.”

“And then?”

I gave my brother a second injection.

“Then they will find God’s light,” I said.


I thought this week’s Trifecta Writing Challenge prompt, Door, worked pretty well with the storyline I started last week, so I decided to keep it goings. I hope you all enjoy this continuation!

And, as always, don’t forget to check out the rest of this week’s stories over at Trifecta!

The series: The Treatment // A Prison of the Mind // Echoes

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  1. Nothing like the cold wrath of the righteous. Though I’m not normally a fan, I really thought the picture heightened even more the sense of eerie claustrophobia this piece and the one before had.

  2. Man you’re killing it lately this was really good. I tried something similar but didn’t pull it off as well nice piece.

  3. This is epic, and an awesome continuation. I’m jelly.

  4. If it’s possible, I think this second part is better than the first. I love the throwback in the last line to the earlier remark.

    Thanks for linking up! Remember to come back to vote!

  5. This is really cool. I hope you plan on continuing it!

  6. Very austere, calculating, a calm before the storm. Interesting reading, very different from what I could be so all the more intriguing.

  7. Love the continuation! I hope you consider writing more, it is an intriguing story!

  8. Good job. Enjoyed it.

  9. I love that not only was it a smooth continuation from the last piece, it was just as well written and left me with an even larger number of questions. That last line was truly bad @ss.

  10. I like it very much. You’ve told a story, or begun a story that I’d like to learn more about. Aliens in the ‘hood? Gangbangers? Hmmmm….

  11. You can really feel the determination in that final line! Well done!

  12. Such a tough position for a brother to be in. With shades of Mystic River… Not boding well for the poor guy.

  13. I really like the way you have described something so grim without overdoing it , please continue the story .

  14. I’m really liking this series. Hope you’ll continue on it next week.

  15. This is so good Brian! Really dark and disturbing, but compelling too, which is a great combination. Can’t wait for the next instalment!

  16. Love how you work with the traumatic event as such a horrific mystery and great continuation to the brief piece I read previously. Wonderful!

  17. Brian, I like this. It feels like it may turn out to be science fiction, hopefully there will be a part two! 😀

  18. Such a cool continuation to the story Brian-am looking forward to reading the next bit:-)

  19. This was so beautiful, that poor trapped man, I really enjoyed it. Thank you LM x

  20. […] series: The Treatment // A Prison of the Mind // […]

  21. […] series: The Treatment // A Prison of the Mind // […]

  22. […] Treatment // A Prison of the Mind // Echoes // Out for […]

  23. […] Treatment // A Prison of the Mind // Echoes // Out for Blood // Lonely […]

  24. […] Treatment // A Prison of the Mind // Echoes // Out for Blood // Lonely Travelers // From the […]

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