Cultivation

In Fiction on March 20, 2013 at 11:29 pm

horse with hose in mouth

Cultivation

“Well, you can lead a horse to water, but—“

“Finish that sentence, and ‘drink’ will be the last word you ever speak, David.”

Dave eyed the horse, smirking.

“I’m just not sure what’s wilder, man, the fact that you’re watering the grass or the fact that you’re talking to me about it.”

The horse dropped the hose and raised its somber, wizened eyes.

“Cultivation is our duty as creatures of God, David. Such is His directive.”

Dave fell back in the dirt and stared.

“Man, peyote is a real trip, Wilbur.”

The horse nickered.

“My name is Craig, jackass.”





This little story is in response to this week’s Friday Fictioneers prompt, which happens to the intriguing picture up above (taken by Doug MacIlroy, who seems to have stumbled upon a rather ingenious and very efficient ranching business model).

Leave your comments below, and click the little blue guy above for the rest of this week’s stories (this is bound to be a funny batch).

Related: The Hideout // The Pebble // Patient Zero

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  1. Ha ha. Loved the last bit!

  2. hahaha really loved reading this ^^ the story’s already so good but that last line just made it great ^^

  3. Dear Brian,
    I think that would be the last experience with peyote for me. Cute story.
    shalom,
    Rochelle

  4. Absolutely hilarious! Love it! What a trip!

  5. Love the Mr. Ed reference. Good story.

  6. Hi Brian,
    Using peyote to enhance your creative output, very resourceful. Liked the horseplay here and glad to know you’ve spent considerable good time watching bad TV. Ron

  7. oh that last line, wonderful.

  8. Had to google Peyote to really understand what was behind this one and I am glad I did. Thanks Brian for a good story and a new word for me. 🙂

  9. Well done. I couldn’t resist the whole talking horse angle either. But I stayed away from the peyote.

  10. Get the name right before I make you a horseshoe tattoo you will never forget I can hear him saying.

  11. Brilliant story, the last line especially! Great stuff 🙂

  12. The stories I’m finding this week are so hilarious. And this is another one. Very imaginative and funny.

  13. Nice. I think the point where the horse starts talking is about the point he should lay off the stuff. Of course, if that’s why he was doing it… 🙂

  14. Very clever, very funny, well done.

  15. Love it, and now as I understand the reference to Wilbur it’s even better.

  16. This is the best part of the trip..the trip..the best part! Well done my friend!
    Tom

  17. Very clever. I used a Wilbur reference too, hahaha.

  18. Funny!
    “My name is Craig, jackass.” I like this bit. Clearly, in your storyworld, horses consider jackasses their inferior and so use the word as an insult.

  19. Fun story, your use of imagination made me smile!

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