Passing Time

In Fiction on October 26, 2012 at 2:15 pm

As October goes on, so does my constant vacillation between abstraction and creepiness in my stories (though I did just take a break from all that to play dress up with some of my favorite dead authors).

Give this one a read and then head on over to Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s page, the brand new home of the Friday Fictioneers. Happy weekend everyone!

Passing Time

The coffee never gets cold.

Outside the window, eons pass. Lush forests rise and fall, high-rises crumble, the sun is a blur – a perfect halo growing and shrinking with the seasons. Someday it will swell and redden and devour us all.

I do not know how long we have been here, in this diner. The question itself is absurd; time has no meaning here. We are only watchers.

I blink, and in my mind’s eye is captured a perfect moment: a field of green with a red starburst – a flower. I sense an ancient longing and sip my coffee.

Warm.


So there you have it, and I actually kept it to 100 words for once! Leave your comments, criticism and Halloween candy below! Then head to Rochelle’s site to read some more cool stories based on the photo prompt.

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  1. I have no candy because we haven’t bought it, yet (dang). But I enjoyed the glimpse into eternity, which is rather poetic in its very prosaic setting. Now I’m going to go reheat my coffee, because I don’t have a magic diner.

  2. No idea where you are, Brian, but I suspect it’s a pretty interesting place, whether it’s a form of heaven or a variation on hell. Enjoy your coffee!

  3. Love “we are only watchers” and just waiting. Splendid

  4. You know, I’m kinda feeling that way today. Trapped in the timeless. I think it may be allergies… Very nice. I visualize this like one of those slo-mo in the midst of real-time film shots.

  5. Gave me a peaceful feeling and a sense of timelessness.

  6. I love the eloquent sense of eternity paired with the mundane nature of a cup of coffee.

    • Thanks, oh nameless one — I appreciate it! Not sure why I went this direction, given the prompt, but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do

  7. Happy Spook Day, Brian,
    I’m dressing down as Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man. Keep a watch out for me. Your story is a nice microcapsule of human existence. We all have to order off the menu, but sometimes the cook gets our orders wrong! Ron

  8. I like the we’re only watchers and the coffee never gets cold. Nicely told! – Amy

  9. A great sadness I felt for the Watcher. An ancient longing… does he know what it is? Nice story.

    here’s mine…http://tedstrutz.com/2012/10/25/displaced/

  10. Oh Brian, this is poetic, peacefully beautiful and well done. I like your choice and use of words. Well done, and thanks much for stopping by mine

  11. A quest for the meaning of life nicely rendered for our enjoyment. Thanks, Brian.

  12. Dear Brian,

    It is the perfect world for a writer. Eternally warm coffee and deadlines don’t mean diddly. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  13. Brian,
    Have you been dipping into my stash?…This sounds like the world I live in everyday. It’s either a warm cup of coffee or a cold beer in my hand. Poetic imagery beautifully written and a great piece of work.
    Tom

  14. Nicely done. Love the last line, “sipped my coffee warm.”

  15. Hi Brian, that was tight prose. I really felt it, and enjoyed it.

    Bill

  16. Great job. I too, love the challenge of exactly 100 words. Fun, isn’t it?

  17. Timelessness or eternity captured in a neat 10 words. Good!

  18. [...] which was provided by Mr. Ted Strutz. Perhaps eerily similar to my last Friday Fictioneers story, Passing Time, I still couldn’t help going this direction with things (maybe my NaNoWriMo story has me [...]

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